I guess I forgot to tell you about the worst part of the trip to Mexico. The big tequila-fuelled, Mexican brawl Friday night where I got a black eye and had my two front teeth knocked out.

Ok, so maybe I made up that story. But that’s what I’ve been telling everyone at work, and they’ve been eating it up. How could I convince them of such an outlandish story? Well this is what I looked like at work all week:
           

The other story I was telling was I donated my teeth to a homeless man as part of Random Acts of Kindness Week – I mean what’s more random then donating your teeth? I thought this was a better story, but no one believed it.

The truth is I had oral surgery on Monday morning and had 2 teeth removed. It’s been planned for some time now. Why? Well, one of my front teeth was knocked out back in Grade 11 while playing baseball. They salvaged the root and stuck a crown on it. My braces caused some trauma and created a pocket in the root, which got infected and slowly degraded the bone. I of course was oblivious to all this, until recently when the front tooth started becoming loose. The dentist checked it out and I was sent to specialist. He decided the tooth had to go, the bone would have to be built back up using a bone graft, and I would need permanent implants. I know I detest girls with implants, but what do girls think of guys with implants?

The surgery went smoothly. The froze me up good, but I had the (dis)pleasure of listening to them rip my teeth out, scrape the tissue off the bone, pack in the bone graft, and stitch me back up. The dentist must have failed sewing class because he did a real hack job with the stitches. But it’s all sealed up and seems to be healing fine.

I have a plate I can insert with fake teeth on it, like dentures. I haven’t worn it much because my mouth is still pretty swollen. Actually, the night of the surgery, just before I went to bed, my face just suddenly started swelling. I looked like a frickin’ monkey (as you can see from the pictures). I went and saw the dentist the next morning and he said it was normal (monkey is the chipmunk equivalent of wisdom teeth extractions). He suggested I take the pain killers he prescribed because they are anti-inflammatory. I asked if they would help me heal or just make me look better. When he said it would just help with optics, I told him where he could shove his painkillers. I’m not taking painkillers when I’m not in pain. Although, I have to admit I did take one the first night, not because I was in pain, but because the sudden monkey look scared the crap out of me. I guess I can’t claim I’ve never had a pain killer any more.

The healing is going well so far. The black eye this morning was a bit of a surprise, but not unexpected given the swelling in my face. I’ve been on a mostly liquid diet until today – lots of liquid meal replacement drinks and smoothies. Today I had soft foods – porridge, refried beans, green beans, papaya, and tuna-on-toast (well bread).

Good thing Emily is in Africa, because I wouldn’t have been the sexiest Valentine this year.